-A diet is the penalty we pay for exceeding the feed limit.
-Inside some of us is a thin person struggling to get out, but they can usually be sedated with a few pieces of chocolate cake.
-I've decided that perhaps I'm bulimic and just keep forgetting to purge.
-When friends tell you how awesome you look, drop the "I still have more to go" crap. You worked hard and you deserve the compliment!
-I've been on a diet for two weeks and all I've lost is fourteen days.
-You can't lose weight by talking about it. You have to keep your mouth shut.
-I have a great diet. You're allowed to eat anything you want, but you must eat it with naked fat people.
-When I buy cookies I eat just four and throw the rest away. But first I spray them with Raid so I won't dig them out of the garbage later. Be careful, though, because that Raid really doesn't taste that bad.
-Not afraid of heights - afraid of widths.
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